Heart Full

I’ve been hearing about the Rubin Museum of Art for a long time. They have exceptional exhibits (Carl Jung currently), and apparently their Friday nights are not to be missed. I don’t know why it took me so long to get here, it’s one of those items on my to-do list that somehow kept getting de-prioritized. But this past lazy Saturday I finally did make it.

I thought I’d start at the top floor, (the sixth) and work my way down. Figuring that I’d peruse / quickly browse as I do for most museums — peppered with a couple extra minutes on special items, but all in 2 hours, two and half tops. I underestimated, or had too much faith in my perusing abilities. I spent an hour on the sixth floor alone. I thought maybe it was me, that finally seeing artifacts embodying my beloved asanas (yogic poses), texts detailing the yogic traditions of people inspired me, naturally I would spend awhile here. But it wasn’t just me. I noticed scattered throughout the floor were other people who “came around the same time”, and were equally fascinated. I couldn’t even get my hardly-comes-to-yoga-class husband to leave. We were all captivated.

The fifth floor showcased Mandalas, and it was equally hypnotic. It traced the gentle progression of mandalas, focusing on tantric Buddhism.  The two dimensional circular patterned image (not unlike a kaleidoscope) I had in my mind of a mandala, were not these. These were breathtaking. Not just meditation pieces, but art rich enough to fill your imagination. In one room, there were mandala’s in every direction surrounding a golden majestic Buddha, it felt magical. Later, I discovered the *three* dimensional mandala. Three! It was gold and it seemed to rise from pure divinity.

I didn’t make it to the fourth floor and below. Our time was up. We had spent close to three hours just on the fifth and sixth floors, and the book store. I firmly believe that the energies of the objects affect the beholder, a mild kind of empathic connection. And in this museum each beholder is given a vision of peace, devotion and yearning. It wasn’t so much an educational experience to be in the company of this art, as it was a meditation.

The dharmas (parable like stories) in class are usually about general concepts. Sometimes, it’s about learning to breathe in the now, learning that it’s OK to take care of ourselves, how to be more present, more mindful. Generally, the closest I’ve experienced to religious tones in class are some of our chants, until the other day. Our instructor told us about devotion in the tale of Krishna and Radha . I wanted to share it, because I found it surprisingly moving. And couldn’t help but wonder if I could ever know, this kind of devotion.

Radha, was Krishna’s favorite amongst the gopis (cow girls). Krishna favored her not because she was beautiful, bright or even a good person. He favored her because of her unconditional devotion, the kind that would follow the object of its affection to whatever end, no questions asked. Eventually, he departed to guard virtue and truth, she waited for him. He fought countless battles, became a king and lord of he universe. Still she waited. He even married, Rukmini and Styabhama, raised a family, fought more wars, and still she watied.

On the one hand, I want to tell this woman to get a grip. On the other, I’m touched that her devotion symbolizes a soul yearning to be united with the universe, to know nirvana. And I know that if that is the level of devotion needed, then I just don’t have it in me, at least not now and probably not ever. I mean I can’t even maintain a consistent vegetarian diet, and I really want to. After a year and a half of practice, I don’t think I’m necessarily that much close to this kind of yearning, then I was the day I started. In fact the road seems so long and so difficult, that I’m inclined to not even start. Hence, my stagnating meditation practice.
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