Heart Full

It’s funny the things you don’t notice are missing from your practice (and by extension life) until someone points it out. And when they do, it’s that “ah-hah” moment when a million new possibilities flash in your mind all at once. The missing ingredient was ritual. I had disdained ritual in my 20s primarily because it reminded me of somber catholic ceremonies which I only participated in under duress. As I got older, I’ve become more spiritual and no longer actively avoid ceremony. But I still don’t incorporate much ritual in my life. My food is eaten without thanks,  special dates like anniversaries approach without notice and then at the last minute are haphazardly celebrated. In fact not only do I NOT notice / incorporate any ritual in my life, I actually don’t like many of the ones I have to participate in, like birthdays, bridal showers, and other “Hallmark Holidays”. It always seems like the drama outweighs any benefits. But then, as our teacher pointed out life ends up just passing you by without any punctuation of meaningful moments.

She encouraged us to create rituals in our lives. To build the alter. To learn the deities and be inspired by them. To celebrate ourselves, because we are GODDESSES. To remember that time passes, events happen, and we should take a moment to acknowledge those transformations. Even better she dressed up our third eyes, a small act that made everyone visibly brighten, even my husband remarked that it was “neat“.  While I’m not ready to call myself a goddess just yet — (though i did float the title to my boss just to test the waters), I think there are small things I can do to add rites back in my life.  First, I explored my neighborhood and found inspirations of divinity.  I saw that at the local church there was an advertisement for an upcoming exhibit, it read:

* I AM , the bread of life

* I AM, the light of the world

* I AM, the gate

* I AM, the good shepard

* I AM, the resurrection and the life

* I AM, the way, the truth, and the life

* I AM, the true vine.

And I couldn’t help but notice that this was very much like the mantra, SoHum. — I AM that. Lovely.

The first week came and went so fast, it’s a strain to remember it. But I know that after one weekend with these 17 other students, I felt a connection. This was unexpected for me. During my 200 hour training class it took us awhile to build up a sense of camaraderie, a casual sharing of  ”my mat is your mat”. I would say it took us somewhere between week 6-8. Not that we didn’t get along, or have intimate sharing sessions, we just were missing a connection. Our teacher noticed it too, she commented that many of the teacher trainings she’s done the yoginis tended to hang out outside of training. Not so with us, it seemed that outside our love for yoga we really didn’t have that much to talk about it. After our teacher training, a couple of us became good friends, and in fact one of my close friends now, Yadana — is from my 200 hour teacher training.But in this training, after just one weekend I felt like I already knew each and every one yogi, and I liked them. It was as if exactly the right mix of people got together for this journey.

I’ve known for awhile I wanted to do more teacher training. I had such an incredible experience during my 200 hour teacher training that frankly I wanted to go right into 300 hours after graduation. But upon further reflection I decided to wait. I wanted to develop my own practice and feel some sense of grounding as a teacher. We also absorbed so much material in such an intense amount of time that I needed some space to fully bake. I had considered several schools, and even went so far as to speak to several program directors, but it didn’t feel quite right. Something at the back of my head kept telling me to wait. After some discussion with my husband I decided that this year, was the year. It wasn’t an easy decision, as I’m sure everyone embarking on extended training soon encounters there are so many “buts”, questions and doubts. Would we be able to afford it? How much time would I have left for my family between my husband’s school, this training, my job, and the handful of classes I already teach?  Was I tempting fate a little too much, asking for the inevitable collapse? Maybe. Yet, after this weekend full of classes, teaching, and multiple balancing acts between home, work and yoga. I think maybe I’ve managed to find just the right union between all three, and I’ve never felt so energized. I can hardly wait.

There are a million reasons why I envy Park Slope — most of them have to do with the charm that oozes from just about every crevice of the neighborhood, now I have another reason, Park Slope Yoga. Park Slope Yoga has been a neighborhood staple for over 10 years, and based on the turnout I saw, it has many more years ahead. My friend Yadana had worked there as a deskie, and (apparently) muralist. Just about all the paintings gracing this studio are her handiwork, and they certainly add to the lively texture of the place.

We had come on NYE hoping to catch Robin’s 4pm class. We were disappointed to learn that she wasn’t teaching her class — there was a sub. Having already traversed enormous public transportation obstacles to get there (read Blizzard) we weren’t going to turn back. The class turned out to be surprisingly good. Surprised because we weren’t sure what to expect — subs can be tricky, but she (Jessica) was very good. She took us in stride — it was a basics class and she seamlessly offered more advanced options, but kept the pace steady allowing beginners and more experienced practitioners to stay in sync. Overall it was a lovely class, a great mix, with clear direction.

Park Slope Yoga is actually comprised of 2 studios — Vinyasa Yoga Center (792 Union St.) and another just across the street called “Devi”. We only visited the VYC for this trip, but I’m looking forward to trying out Devi. What I really liked about the studio — besides the entrancing murals, and the calm whimsical feel was their use of plants and light in the main studio. I think the plants just made it breathe better, and the natural light added a rare kind of serenity. The lounge area was spacious, even the changing rooms (if you can believe it) weren’t cramped. A very positive experience for my first go, looking forward to Devi.